The 10 Best Things – Part Two

I’m counting down what I consider to be the best things in my life right now. Sometimes its easy to get down about all the bad crap going on in our lives, so to keep from jumping off a cliff over stupid stuff, it’s good to reflect on the positive elements in our lives. This is my list. If you missed the first part of this list, check it out here.

#5 – My Day Job

I complain about this job a lot because of the direction the upper management is taking the company. I do not feel any kind of security there because any one of us can be axed at the drop of a hat, making every payday very tense since that’s when pink slips are generally handed out.

Being in magazine publishing, business isn’t good. Books are dying off all the time and if you’ve been to a newsstand lately, not many are filling the empty holes. The mags that remain are having their pages cut regularly, advertisers are bailing for greener pastures in social media and online advertising, and it’s making for extremely tight budgets. Our editorial staff has been cut and my editor is asked to do more with less every month. It’s not a fun situation to be in.

On the other hand, why would I complain about a job that allows me to dress in t-shirts and shorts every day, gives me a flexible enough schedule to get home to hang out with my family and pays me to use my creativity on a daily basis? I’m not highly paid, probably marginal compared to a lot of art directors, maybe higher than some at my company, but I have good benefits and lots of vacation time and I have a whole bunch of really cool people I get to hang out with. I also have a boss that is by far the best boss I’ve ever had. He doesn’t micro manage, gives guidance when needed and backs up his team when their pushed into a corner. Answering directly to a Senior VP has its privileges.

Yes, the job can get mundane at times, doing the same thing month in and month out, but the long and short of the story is I get paid decent to use my right brain often. Compared to a lot of people in corporate America, my job is golden.

#4 – My Friends & Family

This is one of those no-brainer items. Of course my friends and family are on the list. Without them, I’m a pretty uninteresting person, really. I combined the two groups here because many of my friends are like family to me. In fact, a lot of my family members are less important to me than my group of close friends. I have some buddies I’ve known for 20+ years that I would jump in front of a bullet for, and some family members that I wouldn’t, but they all are responsible for partially making me who I am today.

I also married into one of the best possible families I could ever imagine. My wife’s family is gigantic, to say the least, and even the quirky ones (you know who you are) are good people and I get along with them very well. I’ve also gained a lot of deep respect and admiration for the Japanese culture through them.

I’d also be remiss if I didn’t bring up my mom here. She’s been the center of my universe from the beginning. When the man who would call himself my father decided to up and leave both of us stranded and destitute, my mom stepped up and did what she had to to make it, not an easy task at 20 years old. Most would assume she’d run back home, but my mom was determined to push through. She got help from family, and we suffered many slings and arrows together, most of which I never fully appreciated until later in life.

My mom and I don’t always see eye to eye, I can be a bit rough on her at times because of my lack of vision and clarity for situations, but it’s only because I want to lift her higher than she’s ever been before. I do this because I feel I owe it to her after all she’s done for me over the years. I’m blessed to have her in my life and I’m glad she’s got a real man in her life to do take care of her better than my “father” ever could.

#3 – My Creative Mind

Again, how awesome is it that I get to create art for a living. Sure, I’m not selling so many art prints right now that I can retire on the funds. Heck, I couldn’t pay my monthly food bill with what I sell right now, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that I have an almost endless amount of creativity at my disposal to make neat stuff. Even if I wasn’t selling anything, I would still be creating art. I’ve done it all my life and I will continue on for as long as my mind will allow.

I had a conversation recently with a friend who is an art sales dynamo. He confessed to me that recently, while setting up for an art and craft fair, he looked around at some of the old dudes in the other booths and wondered if that was his destiny. Would he be in his 60s and 70s still slogging away trying to hock his art and shows every weekend. When he brought it up, it didn’t sound very appealing at all. I thought about it some more afterward and I found the other side the story.

What if these old guys came out to these art fairs every weekend, not because they had to, but because it was what made them happiest? They get out of the house, interact with people they’ve never met and get to make a few bucks. Maybe they do need the money, but as I eluded to before, how bad of a job is that really? Would they rather be working at Walmart greeting people at the door? I doubt it.

#2 – My Wife

You know that line in the wedding vows where you repeat, “for better or worse”? My wife really took that to heart. She is the angel in my life, the rock beneath my feet and a constant source of love and support no matter what we go through. We balance each other well, taking the hard times as they come, and relishing in the good times with lots of laughter.

I often reflect back to the day we got married on a beautiful beach in Maui. I saw her walking with her sister up the path to where we waited, she almost moved in slow motion. Everyone gets jitters at that point, but I somehow knew I was making the best decision of my life right then. I’ve been asked by other friends who’s marriages aren’t going as well as they’d hoped; they ask if I would get married again if I could have a do-over. The answer is always yes. I’ve told more than one person over the course of our marriage that she definitely got the raw end of the deal, and I’m lucky to have such an awesome woman in my life.

#1 – My Son

Honestly, I was going back and forth on which person was the best thing in my life, my son or my wife. It wasn’t easy, but I finally decided to add the little guy to the top of the list because nothing in this world makes me feel more special than when he crawls up onto my lap, wraps his arms around me and lays his head on my shoulder.

His smile is infectious, his antics crack me up and his affection is electric. No matter how bad my day is, no matter how tough my commute or how tired I may be, nothing gets my spirits up more than one look into his smiling face. I know I’m in for a lot of trying times between now and when he finally leaves the nest, but I will always cherish the sweetness that he brings to our lives daily. I am a better man because of him.

What about you? What are some of your best things? Write ‘em down, share them with others.

Filed Under: Ponderings Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

The 10 Best Things – Part One

Like a lot of people, I tend to dwell on things a little too much, usually the stuff I probably shouldn’t be dwelling on so much; things I either have no control over, or things I could easily fix if I focused more attention toward and got it handled. It spurred me to try and dwell on some more positive things in my life for once.

At first when I thought of coming up with 10 things in my life that bring me happiness, I wondered if I could come up with enough mostly because 2011 has been a bit of a challenging year for my family. Then I realized I was thinking too big, as if every part of this list had to be epic, or even hugely substantial. Truth is, there are tiny things that make me happy that I take for granted on a fairly regular basis, and it’s about time they got some adequate credit for the smile on my face.

#10 – This Blog

Sometimes I dread having to write. It becomes a chore. Any of you who have blogs know exactly what I’m talking about. I write because I feel the need to keep it fresh and updated, not get stagnant and lose what few readers I actually have.

Sometimes the inspiration for what to write about just isn’t there. I’ll sit in front of the computer for a long time trying to post something that actually is worth sharing, and most of those times, I’m certain my readers are going to tell me to shut the hell up and start bringing the awesome instead of this drivel.

Other times though, this writing makes me smile. The catharsis of putting the proverbial pen to paper in order to extricate a creative synapse in the form of a blog post is one of the best feelings in the world, especially typing that last punctuation mark and hitting the publish button. I thought of tossing the blog out many times, but then I remember the good feelings that come with a published piece, and the responses I get, usually in commiseration, and it pushes me forward to the next potential post.

#9 – My Customers

I love buyers, and not just in the sense of receiving dollar bills in exchange for my art. I also love my buyers because I’ve made a connection to someone. They found my artwork appealing enough to either post up on their walls or share with a friend as a gift. We connected on some small level revolving around my creativity and their inspiration. Every time I see a note in my inbox telling me I made a sale I smile, and I’m sure the person on the other end of that transaction is smiling too. At least, that’s what I hope is happening.

#8 – My Sense of Humor

As lame and egocentric as this may sound, I laugh at my own jokes all the time. I make quips and puns on a regular basis with real folks or friends on my various social networks, and I laugh anytime I say something I think will potentially make them literally LOL. I seek out these opportunities quite often.

Sometimes people don’t get the joke, or they don’t quite appreciate my twisted sense of humor. I can’t win them all. If I ultimately have to explain my point of view, then I’ve obviously failed at my attempt at humor, but that doesn’t keep my from trying. Shun me if you will, but I’m still smiling and LMAO for real.

#7 – My Car

Yes, a material object brings me joy. My little VW is a blast to drive spiritedly and I love putting it into really tight and fast corners whenever possible. Even the way it feels when I’m driving on my daily commute makes me smile. It’s not the fastest, most luxurious or the most economical, but it’s 3,600 lbs. of pure, unadulterated joy.

It’s comfortable for being a small car, both in the front seats and the back (yes, it had plenty of leg room). It can also hold a tremendous amount of crap. When I did my last art shows, I was easily able to shove all my stuff into it with the seats folded down. The stereo sounds great as well as the exhaust note, and drives like a go-cart on a cloud, but the best part is the feeling of pushing the throttle down and having it explode past anyone around me. It’s not my dream car, but it’s pretty close.

#6 – My Dog

Freckles, the deadly hunter attacks her prey

Come one, look at this face and try to keep from smiling. Can’t be done.

She’s a pain in my ass sometimes, but most of the time, she’s a smart and loving dog that loves my and my wife and tolerates the heavy handed petting of my son, who will eventually become her best friend, I’m sure.

Check back next time for the #5 through #1.

Filed Under: Ponderings Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Climbing Out of the Hole

Melancholy Street Art - Photograph by mio_pls on Flickr

Photograph by mio_pls on Flickr

It’s as cyclical as the seasons, my interest in doing everything I can to promote my work. Right up until May, I was hustling; creating work, hitting my social networks hard, blogging like mad and many other things to make sure I was getting the word out about my art right up until the Patchwork shows in May.

Without rehashing too much, the shows were a bit of a bust for me. I spent way more money to be there than I made, and if you count all the time and energy to participate, I’m WAY into the red. I know other artists that sell somewhat similar types of products did much better, for whatever reason. My initial instinct is to try and adjust my business model to match the customer, so I experimented with a different type of product, but have had limited success.

In June, I applied to be part of a much bigger show hoping to tap into a different demographic. I didn’t get in. I also applied to be part of Heartsy.com, a group coupon type site specifically for arts and crafts. I didn’t make the cut there either. Combine all that with a desperate need to bring in more revenue, and deep seeded amount of animosity that comes out around Father’s Day each year (a story for another time), and I was headed for a pretty heavy tailspin. I checked out mentally for a little bit. I put in some marginal effort, but didn’t really focus on anything.

The best thing that happened to was my anniversary to my lovely wife. We’re so tight on cash, instead of buying her a gift, I created her a piece of art, which she loves and appreciates more than any piece of jewelry I could buy her. The pieces I had done just prior to that were fun, but nothing that really got me excited. Creating her piece put me in a different mindset, and when I was done, got my creative juices flowing again.

Unfortunately, day job got in the way again as it tends to do on a monthly basis, being a magazine, so I couldn’t capitalize on it as much as I wanted. The July 4th holiday weekend came and all I really wanted at that point was to decompress. I didn’t work on my art at all. Instead, I spent a ton of quality time with my wife and my son, and I didn’t beat myself up about not working on anything.

Now I’m posting up here, I’m checking Facebook and Twitter more, I’m considering new art pieces and things are slowly working their way back to normal. Maybe I’m not doing the art shows, and maybe I’m not getting the promotion I was hoping to from other sites, but I’m enjoying my time right now, and really, that’s why I do the art in the first place, right? I love when people buy my work, but ultimately, I need to be creating for myself and then sharing the best with you.

 

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The Power of Family

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The 'Dubs' Family

I lost my job a few weeks ago. Well, I guess it’s been about a month now. The time sure does fly.

Nothing short of a miracle, I found a new and even better job that I begin next week. I was laying in bed with the Hubs just a bit ago, before I remembered that I was supposed to write this post (sorry Dave) and was reminded of the power of family. We were discussing the amazing outreach of love and support that literally flew our, well, my way during ‘the event’. It was amazing to see and feel the love from so many people. I had people write me Facebook messages, send me emails, call me up on the phone and shoot me text messages. I heard who knows how many ‘let me tell you about my story’ stories, and I have to tell you that I’m grateful for each and everyone of them. It was great to hear a friendly voice and be reminded that I’m not the only one to have gone through rough times. If ‘the event’ has done only one thing it has tough me the importance of having a family.

A lovely hug

Hugs

I had neighbors checking in on me, telling me they were thinking about me and keeping me in their prayers. I even had a friend call up her family prayer chain and initiate it just for me. I had meals made, dishes done and the house cleaned a few times too. Which was unbelievably helpful! I tell ya, when you’re trying to pull yourself up off the floor the last thing you’re thinking about is the state of your home.

The point is, no matter how big or small, we need it all. We need the love, the touch, the smile, the thought, the wave, the laugh, the hug. We need each other more than we will ever know. I hope that everyone has a family out there, be it a few great friends that you know will be your shoulder to cry on, or one amazing sibling who’ll clean your house for you when it’s the last thing you can think about.

Have a spectacular week everyone, and remember to smile at someone. You never know who’ll really need it.

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K & Q. Just smiling.

Kelly Westover is a designer of things, crafter of words, scouter of stylish threads and a super mom on top of all that. You can find her work on Etsy and words on her Balance Blog.

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Treading Through Personal Tragedy, Trying to Find Light in The Tunnel

C hoose Your Daily Quote Necklas by Cobweb Corner

My family became a statistic this past Friday; my wife was let go from her job without notice. I won’t go into the details for her sake, but there’s no getting around it, this is a major shock to the system.

As you can imagine, and some of you may have felt first hand, there are few feelings worse than being rejected based on your performance, especially when you really didn’t do anything wrong, but the company needs a sacrificial lamb. She was devastated and since it happened, my main job has been to lift her up every time she throws herself down the pit of despair. I’m happy to be there to carry the load for her when I can.

Obviously, there are not a lot of good things that come out of this kind of personal tragedy. No two ways about it, it sucks. I haven’t really been able to concentrate on my own stuff that much because 1. there’s a lot of loose ends to tie up, 2. she needs me, 3. It’s hard to stay motivated when you can’t stop thinking about how you’re going to pay the mortgage.

Get Back On Your Horse by Tiffany Michelle

In all of this, what it has caused me to realize is that I need to take control of my own destiny, making more stuff happen for myself so that we are not in this position any longer than we need to be. I have no illusions about my art and design being able to magically make up the difference between what she used to make and what unemployment insurance will cover. That is a HUGE gap, and sacrifices will need to be made, but there is also an opportunity present for both of us. For her, it’s finding an even better job than the previous one (which is not a huge leap since the other place pretty much sucked ass). For me, it’s taking the leap into finding other places for me to sell my work.

There’s something more to come on that note, but you’ll have to wait for the update later. Until then, thanks to everyone for all their support and well wishes. You make the hard times a little bit softer.

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