New in the Shop
I’m refurbishing and relaunching an older zine that got lost in a catastrophic technical failure two years ago.
It’s called Old Punks Don’t Die — A Musical Memoir; a 20-page zine about how music goes to the root of everything about me, and no, it’s not just about punk rock.
It’s available for presale now and ships on June 16th.
When I retired from graphic design…
The last thing I planned was to start an agency. I planned to drink more water, stretch my hamstrings, and maybe catch up on books I bought six years ago. But starting an agency? No, that wasn’t part of the midlife wellness protocol.
And yet—here we are.
Signal & Scale is my new project, a boutique email marketing studio for lifestyle brands. It’s built for businesses that are doing everything except making their email system work like it should. I help them create smarter funnels, write less cringe-y copy, and set up automations that don’t feel like they were built by a caffeinated raccoon in a no-code sandbox.
Look, I know that sounds totally off0-brand for me for many of you, but I’ve been quietly doing this work in the background for several years now. It’s strategic, useful, and it pays… eventually.
Also, it scratches a part of my brain that enjoys solving problems with fewer frustrating exclamation points and more cooperation.
Let’s not pretend it’s been easy
Starting over at 54 hits different. There’s a flavor of fear that only shows up once you’ve already reinvented yourself a few times and realize, “oh no, we’re doing this again.”
So, here are six things I’ve learned while building Signal & Scale that are not lessons so much as speed bumps I hit… with my face.
This is my personal reality, and if you’re thinking about starting something new in the “I should probably be retiring soon” era of your life, they might just save you a little blood.
1. Legitimacy is a confidence costume, and most people are cosplaying.
When I started shaping this idea into an actual business, I had one recurring thought: Are people really going to believe I can do this? At this age? In this space? With this resume that zigzags like a squirrel hyped up on chocolate covered espresso beans?
The truth is, no one’s handing out credibility certificates. Most people are making it up as they go, and the trick is just to do that thing, well, consistently and with enough backbone that folks stop questioning you and start asking how you did it.
I’ve done this work for clients, for friends, and for myself. I’ve read the research, run the tests, and written the sequences. The only thing that changed was that I finally turned the lights on and opened the doors.
2. You can delay anything for the sake of aesthetics.
At one point, I spent an entire afternoon adjusting the line height of a headline. Not the copy; just the S P A C I N G! I convinced myself it was essential; strategic, even.
Pro tip: Fear in the form of an over-thought Squarespace page still counts as fear.
In reality, I was doing everything I could to avoid publishing the Book a Call page because once that was live, I’d have to actually talk to people about things and stuff… on purpose.
Design is my safe space. Tinkering with rasters, vectors, and grids is soothing. Talking to strangers about my service offer? Less so. So I kept redesigning instead of launching.
3. I’m not afraid to fail, but terrified to waste what time is left.
When you’re 28, failure is a badge. When you’re 54, it’s a mortgage payment you can’t make.
That’s what hit me hardest. Not “What if this flops?” but “What if I give it everything and it flops anyway?” What if I burn away months on this and still end up crawling back to my comfort zone, dragging my bruised ego behind me like a half-deflated balloon?
I don’t have time for another slow build that maybe-might convert. I need traction now, or at least the hope of it.
And yet—I still chose this. The only thing more painful than failure is watching the clock run out while you wait for perfect conditions that never arrive.
4. Nobody tells you you’re good at something until you already are.
I kept waiting for anyone to say, “Hey, you know what? You’re really good at this email stuff. You make it make sense and should charge ridiculous amounts of money for it.”
Never. Happened!
The reality is, most people won’t see your magic until you’ve packaged it up and sold it back to them. So you have to believe in it first. Not in a manifest your dreams kind of way, but in a nobody is coming to save me so I better start swimming way.
5. Joy doesn’t always equal income (but it’s still important).
There was a week, maybe two, where I seriously considered shelving Signal & Scale and going all in on this newsletter (of course, I’m all in, but I mean all-in-all-in). However, Manual Transmission feeds my soul, not my bank account, at least not yet.
Signal & Scale is the part that pays the rent, but Manual Transmission keeps the creative plumbing from backing up. It lets me say what I want, how I want, so I’m not trying to stuff all that expression into a client-facing funnel about lead magnets and abandoned cart flows.
Balance doesn’t mean splitting time 50/50. It means giving each part of myself somewhere to live. Manual Transmission keeps my creative energy flowing so Signal & Scale doesn’t have to carry the weight of every unfinished idea.
Of course, there’s also all the other projects I’m working on simultaneously (because I can’t help myself), so I may not even know what I’m talking about.
6. If you’re not going to chase it, you’d better learn to live without it.
When people say, “I think it’s too late for me,” I get it. I’ve said it. But let me ask you…
Are you really okay being exactly where you are for the next 25 years?
If you don’t go after the thing, you’re not just avoiding failure. You’re also agreeing to let the dream atrophy quietly in the basement. Eventually, you stop hearing the call and I’m not interested in that kind of silence.
So here I am, starting something new (ahem…again) At 54. With no guarantee it’ll work, and every reason to believe I’ll want to redesign the homepage 87 more times before it’s done.
But I’m doing it anyway.
If you’re standing at the edge of your own late-blooming idea, wondering whether to jump, consider this your nudge. Not because I know how it ends, but because I finally got tired of wondering what might happen if I just lean in and get focused AF.
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External Signals
Can I sell enough zines to pay my rent? Bre shares her thoughts on the reality of zine vending in public events.
Do you need more zines in your life? Let me help!
My son decided he wanted to watch the entire Ocean’s 11 movie series, and in the middle of Ocean’s 12 is a beautiful song titled Crepuscolo Sul Mare by Piero Umiliani. Now my studio is filled with the evocative retro-lounge sounds of the Italian composter.
If you love old cars, you’ll love this tribute to old cars from James Pumphrey of SPEEED.
Things I’ve Done to Make Money by
feels relatable AF!
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I can relate to this as I’m in a pivot myself. I find this affirming and the comments of the others here. Congrats on the new agency!!
Your new venture, Signal & Scale has got the right mix of copy and edgy design I like! WOW, you’re awesome!! 😎 I’d work with you!!