Advice I Would Give My Mother (and you) to Enhance Her Creative Life

My mom is a struggling artist and recently asked me for help. This is everything I'm going to tell her this weekend when I see her next.

Where Did That Apple Go?

Dear Mom,

Buckle up, because I’m about to expose some dirty laundry. Before I do, know that I love you and I want the best for you. That said, we need to talk about the two elephants you have crammed into your art studio in the desert.

1. You’re entirely too hard on yourself and your work, but guess what. You’re not alone. So many people who make things second-guess their work often, including me. It’s a stigma that’s hard to avoid and harder to kick. Instead, you need to embrace it, make it your friend, and turn it into an asset.

2. You have a tendency to get unfocused. You’ve said casually to everyone how you have undiagnosed ADHD. You may be right, and it is likely a contributor to you not getting what you want from your work, and perhaps it’s time to do something about it.

For what it’s worth, I am the same on both counts (I come by it honestly), but I learned how to recognize the behaviors in the moment, and I’m doing the work to turn these defects into assets.

Turn Flaws Into Ammunition

Recently you shared an emotional confession that gave me pause. Not only did it hurt my heart, but it felt a little too real. At the same time, it was also the best thing you’ve written in a long time (mostly because you don’t write enough, but we’ll get to that). Every line came from the deep well inside you and I’m sure readers felt your anguish, but you were more real than you’ve ever been. What you may not understand yet is these types of admissions are a good way to find the people who resonate with you.

So, yeah, all of what you’re feeling kinds sucks, but good job exposing yourself! Those moments where you talk about overworking your art, leaving it behind, and not feeling good about coming back to it; those are all feelings worth exploring, and potentially sharing. The more comfortable you get with sharing them, the more you’ll learn to use them fuel for your creative work, whether that’s more stories, or the art itself.

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Before we dig in deeper, two things…

1. Save this post. You’re going to want to spend some time thinking this one over.

2. Share this with someone who is [insert thing] but is [insert fear].

NOTE: This publication grows because of your shares, and if you know someone who could really use this information, send it to them. It helps them, helps me, and it’s 100% free.

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Foster a Ritual of Doing

The one lesson I’ve learned the hard way is that consistency is the most important trait to foster. You know this about my creative projects, but I’ve bailed out on them more times than a deadbeat dad with multiple ex-wives. Just as I’ve learned how to be a good father to your grandson, I’ve learned that when I’m consistent and leaning into the things I want to do (instead of what the world is telling me), not only do I make my best work, I enjoy the process, and the world pays more attention.

To make this work, you need to get a handle on one very important truth: Consistency must be scheduled. That means making time for yourself, putting it on the calendar, and do NOT deviate except in emergencies. Despite your semi-retired life, you have distractions all around.

What helps me is turning off the outside world; not just the phone, but the people too. I literally put my phone too far away for me to reach for, and when I feel myself wanting to reach for it, I know I’m letting my intrusive, distracted thoughts win over. It give myself a gentle kick in the pants and get back to work.

You don’t have to commit a lot of time; the world still exists and needs attention. Instead, consider the time of day where you think you do your best work and block that off every day for making—no exceptions, whether it’s art, writing, or some other creative indulgence.

IMPORTANT: If you decide on any day that you don’t want to make during your schedule, make sure that you get back to it the next day or soon after. Do not allow anyone or anything become the exception, or you’ll lose your momentum by busy work.

Time is Short — Share Everything

Not to be too morbid, but Death comes for us all, and let’s be honest; their long, spiny fingers are scratching at your door. (Relax, she knows I’m teasing).

The reality is that in a hundred years, none of us will be remembered… unless we’ve done the work to put our stories out into the world, some of which will continue to keep us in the hearts and minds of people that were affected by our stories and lessons. There are parts of yourself that your grandson will never understand because he’s never had a chance to know the stories you’ve hesitated to share.

If you’re like most, when I say share everything, it’s can be an overwhelming thought. There are some things that feel too raw, deep, or potentially controversial to share with the world. Ok, you don’t have to share your time spent on Epstein Island, but aside from that, open the flood gates (If the FBI sees this, I’m kidding… not that you’d do anything about it for at least another two years). Take it slow at first, and ease in with what you’re comfortable with now, and over time, people will tell you what parts they enjoy and give you encouragement to go deeper.

Maybe you don’t know what to share just yet, everything feels divergent, unimportant, and detached from the actual art, but this is much bigger than what’s on the canvas. This is the strategy that helped me.

1. Imagine the world you want to create

When I came back to Substack earlier this year, I did so with trepidation because I wasn’t sure what my contribution would be to this space. I didn’t know if people wanted to even hear from me anymore, let alone expect them to pay attention, but I started putting work out anyway. The more I shared, the better I understood what people enjoyed hearing from me, and it was aligned with my interests.

I made an active choice to create a safe space for people who enjoy doing many creative things but often second-guess themselves because society wants us to focus on one thing in order to understand us better.

I chose to make my story about the overarching concept of creative generalism so I can share all the things I create, and the byproduct is a legion of other multi-passionate individuals who are embracing the status as their own. Together, we’re creating a new identity for the world to see.

You have your own vision for what you want the world to know about you—lean into it. If it’s a muddy concept right now, and you’re not sure exactly what it looks like; write about it. The more I write about things, the clearer I get.

2. Journal ALL of your ideas

You know how you have 17 different pairs of reading glasses stashed around various parts of your home because you always misplace them and you buy more?

Do that same thing, but with pocket journals!

Put pocket journals in all the places you dwell for longer than three minutes, and DON’T MOVE THEM. Anyway you have an idea for a story idea, or something worth sharing on social media, write it down in one of the notebooks. Do this first, and if a particular idea needs immediate attention, take it to your computer or your phone and put the bones into a draft to build on later.

There are NO bad ideas. Everything is a story, literally everything. Sharing all the pieces you love is a story, but so is talking about all the pieces you gave up on. Writing about your materials is a story, and so is talking about the things that keep you from making. Writing about the various notebooks around your house because you can never remember all the good ideas you have is a story.

Long form articles, short form Notes, photo and video ideas galore; when you’re out of ideas, run the gauntlet of randomly placed Field Notes and pull an idea to share with your audience. We can discuss frequency later, but I would aim for at least posting one or two notes a day—you can skip weekends unless otherwise compelled.

3. Tell everyone you meet

You are way better at talking to strangers than I have ever been. I have trust issues, but you’re as gregarious as anyone I’ve ever known. When people ask what you do, go back to #1 above and read them your one-line bio about the world you’re trying to create.

Make everyone know exactly what you want them to know about you, and then tell them exactly where they can go to see more of you. Maybe it’s your substack, or it’s your art website, but make sure they know.

Also, take that same message and put it on every platform where you exist. Put it in the bio of your social media accounts, your website about page, and into every journal you have floating around in case you absentmindedly put it into your purse only to drop it at the local Trader Joes.

This takes time. It won’t make you an overnight success, but if you stay consistent, post regularly, and be involved in other people’s journeys by reading and commenting on their posts, you’ll find growth.

I know that you would prefer to be making art than posting stuff online, but if you look at this as part of the process, I think you’ll learn to appreciate it more once more people start showing up to thank you for sharing and giving them hope for themselves. I know this can be true because it’s happened to me many times.

All of this can eventually lead to notoriety while also getting paid for the work, and there are multiple opportunities for you specifically, which is a conversation for another time.

I’ll see you this weekend.

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